Yesterday I was blessed to have a guest post on Life as a Widower regarding the role of faith in my grieving process. My religious beliefs help me immensely but there are other rituals that provide solace as well.
I struggled quite a bit with how I wanted to celebrate and recognize Wesley’s birthday with him now gone. I knew early on that I would have a hard time being home so I planned to be out of town. But would I bake a cake and blow out the candles myself? Would I buy the presents I would give him if he was here and just leave them unopened? I was not sure. Julia understood that Daddy’s birthday was going to be coming up and asked how we would celebrate it. Of course her idea included sprinkled cupcakes.
I decided to spend the day in the way Wesley would have loved. We went to the Detroit Zoo and spent the day walking and seeing the animals, riding the carousel and riding the train. Wesley would have loved to walk beside us pointing out the lazy gorillas, diving seals and the “Marconi” penguins with their fuzzy yellow eyebrows. Julia ate a Frosty which was a treat they often shared and we had Italian for dinner and I mentally toasted him with my glass of prosecco. It was a day filled with love and good times. Sunny and fun and joyful.
I pray that all who loved Wesley had a day that brought them comfort. Whether cradling a baby which reminds us of the beauty of new life, calling a friend who you think could use a listening ear or just taking a quiet moment to appreciate what we all have. Those are the best presents Wesley could have wanted.